Laying It Out Up Front

Monday 05-10-2010


Fuzzy - fuzzy@fuzzyandelly.com - 11:16 AM 5/10/10
I know all you nerds are wondering how they have drinks already within one minute. In classy restaurants, you get drinks handed at the door. Since I've never been to a classy restaurant, I'll just assume this is true. With all the free bread and drinks they give you, I'm not even sure why you'd ever sit down. They must charge like $20 for a salad.

Moving on.

As terrifying as a first date like this would be for many guys, I personally would love it. It would be so much easier if a woman said immediately, "I'm a crazy domineering bitch with a purse full of men's balls." Then I would know right away where to slot her: "Sex only." If on the other hand she said, "I love getting a man a beer and then sucking on his cock while he drinks it," then I may consider a more lasting relationship. I don't want to have to fight for this information. Maybe we could form a National Bitch Registry, so I could just Google her name before the date. After the date I could rate her, eg. "4 stars - She put out on the first date but didn't shave her snatch. Also, she likes pie."

Of course, the vast majority of guys rate on looks, and girls rate on wealth. So it doesn't matter if you both like puppies. FUCK PUPPIES. In that case, what matters on a first date is how much bullshit she's willing to tolerate. It's so much easier as a kid: "I'll show you my dinglestick if you show me your fluffsack." Or whatever kids call it these days.
James Stagg - - 8:12 PM 5/11/10
Yeah, they do it for sex offenders, so why not for women?

pussydriven - - 1:44 AM 5/12/10
In my country women are forced by law to have the number of dates required tatooed on her left hand. On the right hand they have the number of months it takes before they turn into crazy domineering bitch. There are rumors of women without the number "2" on both hands. But until I meet one, it would be like beleiving the stories of the KFC Double down....
sexykitten - - 2:42 AM 5/16/10
hey.. i'm getting a bit horny. how do you take care of that if you're alone and your parents are out for the weekend? i'm 16, a filipina, and curious. really curious.
Hot Dog - jokerzlaugh@yahoo.com - 11:35 AM 5/21/10
To sexykitten: "Wait two years and call me in the morning!"
sexykitten - - 4:45 PM 5/21/10
To Hot Dog: "Sure"
Pedo-Bear - - 10:39 PM 5/21/10
To sexykitten: You should've called me two years ago!
metalman - - 10:24 AM 6/02/10
Fuzzy & Elly, beloved heroes of millions of readers, were last seen on May 10 and most likely passed into the Great Unknown shortly afterwards. They'll be cherished in our fondest memories forever. Requiescant!

Tips for a good webcomic, anybody?
Bastardo - - 10:47 AM 6/02/10
FOr Sexykitten
You stupid bastard...don't drag the Filipina name with your promiscuity!!!!

Red Peter - - 8:19 AM 6/03/10
My sources say Fuzzy is in county lockup.
sexykitten - - 4:58 AM 6/15/10
Who's the bastard again? Have you read your name?